Understading my weaknesses

Ug this past week has been so hard! I just want my kids to be better and not be sick i cant focus on anything i want to do. My son is now getting his canine teeth along with a cold so yea he is a bear... i love em though :)

So i was watching the talk show the other day and there was a lady on there who lost a bunch of weight and she had an interesting idea that i never thought of. She was talking about how when ppl diet they always think they need to reward themselves once a week or a certain way. But she said that food is an addiction just like and other and i believe that so if that is true then the idea of and alcoholic not drinking alcohol applies to food as well. What i mean is that if an alcoholic gets sober and clean you dont "reward" yourself with a beer for getting sober that is just counter productive and stupid. So why doesnt the same idea apply to the foods that we are addicted to? My weakness is Cocacola it used to be chocolate but since i have been nursing i quit and i really dont crave it like i thought i would. I struggle with coke i drink caffeine free coke and i love it cause i still get coke but it wont have the negative affects on my baby like regular coke. So i need to get to where i can get past that mentally and avoid it and just drink water. 

Something i have been doing is after dinner i stop eating i dont snack after about sevenish and i just drink water and i have noticed that i have lost a pound or two. I dont have the time with the kids to exercise like i want now so im letting nursing work in my favor and eating better now. Thanksgiving will prove to be a struggle however.... we shall see

ZOMBIE ZzZzZz

Ok so im just not getting a good start this week! haha it's ok though sick kids are part of parenting. I dont get two seconds to myself but im ok with that for now. All i can do at this point really is just eat good. Im trying to drink lots of water i read that drinking water will help with stretched skin especially after having three kids i can defiantly work on that. I thought about something a lot today i was thinking about all the things i wish i could accomplish like having my house clean everyday and kids ready and me ready for the day, reading scriptures, vt done, dinner in the oven, time with hubby, pretty much being perfect haha and i realized that im not letting the lord bless my life if i dont try my best and quit whining about it. I can only do so much  but i need to decide what is important for me now and just do that and what i can.
So as i started trying to eat better i am finding that if i give in to candy or anything that i know isnt healthy for me i get this wave of guilt come over me. I know its ok to have those things once in a while but i really really want to look good and get healthy. Im 27 and have never been able to wear a bikini. Im mean im in my prime years i want to be able to go out and feel good about the progress i have made. So Im going to try to stay away from those sugary things. I know im just going to feel bad about it if i do so im just going to not. Yeah like its that easy right? hahaha but really im going to do my best. Today im feeling guilty can you tell? lol
Freakin halloween candy ....... *sigh*
I hope my kids are feeling better tomorrow so i can do more of what i want to do. Right now however im going to go get me a water and read my scriptures. :) Nite folks

Rocky First Day

So last night i was all excited to get started today with my new enthusiasum for getting healthy. My little 2 month old had different plans however. He got his shots so he was grumpy and up all night needless to say i woke up a zombie. It didnt help that my one year old was up at six because my three year old was crying cause she "saw a scary monster" lol ....kids i tell ya.
I was so tired and then to top that off i thought ok i will plan a nap today and i got baby logan to sleep and then i put mason my one year old down and Katie was resting watching cartoons and as soon as i laid down logan decided to wake up and cry cry cry. So when i got up i checked on katie and she has a fever!  AHHHH what else could go wrong!?!?!?! So i did not get any exercising done today ugg i was supposed to get started today guess ill try again tomorrow lol.
I just keep thinking that this to shall pass and before i know it my kiddos will be gone and grown and i can go to sleep before i know it heehee.
Ok so something i forgot to mention in my last post is that when i got prego with Mason i learned that i have a blood disorder called Facor Five Liden its pretty common but it just means that im really susceptible to blood clots and had to do shots of Lovenox in my stomach everyday, it was awful i hated it. It kind of scared me because i have a family history of blood clots and breast cancer in my family. It's important to me to be around for my kids and not just "around" i want to be an active part in there lives.

Health to Mind Body and Spirit

My first post was related to health of the body and how i want to become healthier physically for my family and for myself. Now i want to talk about the importance for me to become healthy spiritually and mentally. To help better understand me and why these things are important to me i need to give you a history of myself. I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints (LDS) I was raised in a small town in Utah. My family life at home was not what you would typically think to find in an LDS home. My dad molested me when i was in third grade, and more in sixth grade. I told my mother and she did call the police but to make along story short nothing really happened and everyone went on pretending nothing happened. So remember how i said that i had issues and believed i was ugly and fat and all that garbage? yeah well know you know a little why. My mom started abusing px pills then so i was left to deal with all that happened to me on my own, i didnt know how to of course so i just ignored it and clung to my best friends family. I grew up having not dealt with anything and developed really unhealthy ways of coping and an unhealthy thought process to deal with problems in my life. So what does all this have to do with getting healthy you ask? Well im married now and i have three children if i want to be happy and successful at home and in this world i need to correct the unhealthy ways of thinking and dealing with things and learn how to problem solve correctly and in a way that leads to me being happy and bettering my family's lives.
Now one of the things that i always told myself was that i was ugly physically and that nobody would want to be with me, so when i met my husband i didnt believe him when he told me i was beautiful, i mean it was nice to hear but i still didnt believe him i wanted to i really did but in my mind i didnt see what he saw. All i saw were flaws and imperfections.
Two years ago we came to a point in our lives where i needed to change how i felt and thought about myself and fast. How did i do that? well let me tell you, it may sound strange but this is how it happened and i dont care what anyone out there thinks either. This is my personal experience and it means a lot to me so i want to share it. I started by saying a prayer, i knelt down and i asked God to help me feel how he feels about me, i told him how hurt i felt about all that had happened to me. I poured out my heart to him, after i was through with my prayer i just sat there and soaked it all in. I was pretty worked up at this point and i wanted to just feel the peace of finally after all these years taking my pain to the lord and saying "hey im hurting and i cant do it alone anymore please help me" Soon i started to feel all warm and it felt as if someone was giving me a hug, It was so powerful it may seem such a small gesture but it meant the world to me and was just what i needed. It was like the lord was giving me a hug and telling me it was going to be ok and i felt just an overwhelming sense of peace come over my broken heart. From that point forward when i looked at myself in the mirror i knew how the lord saw me i knew he loved me more than i could ever comprehend. I stopped telling myself negative things, i started to believe all those things that my Husband had been telling me all those years and i began to see myself through the eyes of others but most importantly through my savior.
So in addition to becoming physically healthy i want to become spiritually healthy and that means that i need to do all the things that i have been taught from a young age at church reading my scriptures daily saying my prayers and attending church every week among many other things :) I know that im not perfect and the lord doesnt expect me to be, he just wants me to do my best and keep going, endure to the end in happiness not misery. I know that doing these things make me happy and are ways to bring love into my life i know because i have done it. But again im not perfect i fall short and life gets in the way. But i keep trying i move forward and i will get there eventually. I love my father in heaven and im so grateful to be a part of his great gospel. Im grateful to have such an amazing family and a husband who loves me more than life itself. He is my rock and i owe him my life. So i will be on a crazy and fun journey if you are following me i hope to be able to inspire someone out there and maybe just maybe make someones day a little brighter :)

A new commitment!!!

Hi,

Ok so my name is lisa and im starting this blog because i want to get serious about my health so i thought it would be fun to track my progress and hey maybe it will help me stay motivated right! like anyone but me is going to read this hahaha.
So heres my story body, Im not a huge girl im average size but i have struggled with my self image all my life, i mean what girl hasnt right? Well i spent my life believing i was fat i know boohoo poor lisa lol Im not trying to tell a sap story or make anyone feel sorry for me just being honest ok! ;)
When i got married i was scared to show my husband my body i was afraid of what he would think. He loves me anyway of course ( Thats why he married me right?) lol
Well as much as i tried to be ok with how i looked i just wasnt and instead of doing something about it i just felt bad for myself and told myself how ugly i was.  After about a year or so we got pregnant with my daughter i was so excited but i was kinda worried what having a baby would do to my body. I always hear the stories where women gain like 100 pounds when prego YIKES!!! Well lucky for me i puked my guts out for five months and lost twenty pounds so needless to say g getting prego was like a weight loss plan instead YEY hahah.
When my daughter was about one i started packing it on I got back up to 145-150 and i was not happy at all with myself again. Well i went on a diet with a friend of mine from work and i lost twenty pounds however i would not recommend the diet i did. I ate maybe 500 cal a day! Yuck i ate egg white, turkey bacon and melba toast everyday for 6 weeks. It worked but that just isnt practical for any long term weight loss and just isnt healthy at all. But it did work for a crash weight loss diet. I got prego again and was sick again and then when he was 8 weeks old found out i was prego again! SURPRISE haha yeah so after three kids, two back to back i am now so ready to loose weight and get into shape. It is hard with three kids now my son is only two months but i want to get started now especially while im nursing so i can have that advantage working for me as well. I have researched exercises and all that and i try to do them at home. I will track my plan and start and food journal. I went on Jillian Micheals website and found out the calorie intake i am supposed to have for my weight now and height.
I am allowed 1135 cal a day and two days of resting for exercising. I will post pics to of my progress and also do weigh ins.
Right now i weigh 132 my goal is 110 and to get toned up. Wish me Luck! :)